2018-01-16 / Community

In life there are lessons and joys

Mind & SOUL

As we welcome the new year, it is important to reflect on the past.

Our past experiences can teach us powerful lessons, and if we take time to learn from them, our lives will be enriched. As a result, we will experience more joy and fulfillment. If we don’t take time to learn from our past experiences, we will more likely repeat old patterns and deprive ourselves of the joy and happiness we deserve to experience.

We often make the same mistakes over and over, because under stress we tend to go back to our previous level of functioning, which sometimes means impulsiveness, poor judgment and a retreat to the emotional regulation we formed in childhood.

Our brains are wired to pay attention to things that were rewarding once, even if they aren’t rewarding anymore.

People often blame someone else after a failure. The blaming did not work well for Adam and Eve in the story of the Garden of Eden, and it will not work well for you. Instead, take responsibility for your part. The sooner you accept responsibility, the sooner the problem is identified and a solution is generated.

I work with couples who have undergone some devastating experiences. Those who learn from and work through their problems not only don’t separate, they grow stronger and renew their relationships. Those who do not take time to learn from their past mistakes, however, continue to go through multiple partners and continue to experience painful failures.

Researchers concur that people who have a high level of self-awareness and see themselves objectively make smarter decisions, raise more mature children, and are more successful at school and work.

As we are given another year, take time to learn your lessons and envision the life you want to live. Then your life will be filled with the joy and happiness that you deserve.

Stan Strycharz is a licensed psychologist practicing in Southwest Florida. He can be reached at drstan.net.

Return to top

Click here for digital edition
2018-01-16 digital edition